Do you have parents WHO ARE DEAD? (Or possibly a partner or child, as this show needs to up its ante)
Do you have a job WHICH YOU HATE?
Do you like throwing glasses of water about?
Are you willing to be humiliated before the nation on a weekly basis?
Then you might find it a bit difficult to read The Bitch Factor. For everyone else, we will be there each week, DRINK! in hand, suffering the pain of X Factor series 5 with you. Starts this Saturday and runs FOR EVER (well, til Christmas, which is still FOUR LONG MONTHS).